I’ve been a pastor and I’ve counseled couples for several years. I’ve found the following things can obliterate marriages.
Dishonesty- maybe you’ve heard, “a person who can be counted on for the little things can be counted on for the big things.” That’s true when it comes to telling the truth. If you constantly bend the truth in small ways, you can develop a habit where the little lies and deceptions eventually turn into bigger ones. Be forthright and live by your word. You’ll build trust, thus a healthier marriage.
Adultery- infidelity can destroy a marriage, yet many couples don’t implement simple rules to keep them away from trouble. This applies to both men and women. My rules have always been; never travel alone or go to a meal alone, with a member of the opposite sex. Never go into a meeting alone, with the door closed, with a member of the opposite sex. Dr. Norman Peale used to say, “you can’t stop the birds from flying over your head, you can keep them from building a nest in your hair!”
Geographic Isolation- when either spouse has to move their family away from the comfort of familiar surroundings, it creates a huge void for the accompanying spouse. Joining a faith community in your new location provides essential emotional, spiritual, and physical support.
Money- it’s important to use money the right way. Give 10% away. Save 10%. Live on 80%: no matter what your economic situation looks like. I’ve often seen more marital problems in wealthy families.
Children- are a blessing, but if your marriage isn’t solid before children, it can be even worse after. Seek professional counseling if your marriage is shaky but you want children.
Substance Abuse- nothing can save a marriage if there’s addiction. Get help or get out.
