1. Substance Abuse is the number one killer of Good Dads. If you suffer from any substance abuse seek help now. Nothing is more important to you and your family.
2. Violence has the potential of destroying the lives of children for generations. If you find that you lash out at your children or spouse, you likely learned it from your parents, through several generations. You need to seek private counseling to assure that you don’t pass this behavior on to your children. Let this cycle stop with you.
3. Yelling is a form of verbal abuse that is also learned. Stop it now. When you feel your blood pressure rise, count. As things escalate, in an argument with a child or spouse, disengage. Try asking in a quiet voice, “Can we pray about this?” If they agree, ( join hands when appropriate) pray and ask ONLY God to calm the emotions.
4. Punishment is not discipline. You need to teach your children to make better decisions by communicating that certain actions produce positive consequences while others create negative ones. You teach them by enforcing the consequences of their actions.
5. Drone or Helicopter. Let your children be children. Let them skin their knee, fail a test at school, build a sub-par volcano, or write something stupid. We all learn more from failure and pain than we do from anything else. We learn resilience.
6. Personal Fulfillment. If you try to re-live your life through your children, you will fail as a parent. If you didn’t accomplish certain goals when you were growing up, I’m sorry. You can’t accomplish those goals through you children. Let them seek their own course, and support them as THEY work and grow.
